How do we know if an emotion is real?
Determining whether an emotion is genuine is a complex process that requires evaluating both internal and external factors. The authenticity of emotions is generally associated with authenticity (sincerity), consistency, bodily responses, and long-term behaviors.
- Physiological Responses and Bodily Adaptation
Autonomic Nervous System Responses: Genuine emotions (e.g., fear, love, anger) are often accompanied by physiological symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and trembling. These reactions occur beyond our conscious control.
Facial Expressions and Microexpressions: According to Paul Ekman’s research, genuine emotions are manifested through microexpressions (facial movements lasting less than 0.5 seconds). For example, a genuine smile activates the muscles around the eyes (orbicularis oculi).
- Time and Consistency
Immediate Response vs. Constructed Response: Genuine emotions often emerge suddenly and do not require prolonged “pretense.” For example, the surprise felt at an unexpected gift is sudden.
Consistent Behaviors: If there is consistency between the emotion, words, and actions (for example, if the actions of someone who says they love also support this), the emotion tends to be genuine.
- Depth and Cognitive Processing
Emotional Depth: Genuine emotions are often complex and have multiple dimensions. For example, true love can include both joy and vulnerability.
Lack of Internal Conflict: If a person doesn’t question their emotion and doesn’t experience internal conflict, the emotion may be more authentic.
- External Validation
Others’ Observations: Feedback about your feelings from people you trust is important. For example, comments like, “I see you’re really happy,” can be validating.
Context of the Situation: The authenticity of the situation in which your emotion arises is also important. For example, saying “I’m in love” to someone you just met can be confused with hormonal influences (infatuation).
- Continuity and Durability
Test of Time: Genuine emotions generally don’t diminish over time. For example, true love persists despite challenges.
Testing Under Stress: If a person maintains an emotion even in difficult situations (for example, if they can control their anger), this emotion may have deeper roots.
- Psychological Theories and Tips
James-Lange Theory: Proposes that bodily reactions create emotions. For example, “My heart is beating fast, so I’m scared.”
Cognitive Dissonance: A mismatch between emotion and behavior (for example, saying you love someone but acting indifferent) can be a sign of dishonesty.
- Watch Out for Self-Deception
Subconscious Motivations: Sometimes we suppress or reinterpret our emotions (for example, “I don’t really love them, I’m just affected by loneliness”).
Projection: Emotions we project onto others (for example, saying, “They hate me” can actually mask our own hatred).
Practical Steps: To Test Your Emotion
Keep a Journal: Write down your feelings and observe changes over time.
Meditate: Introspect the source of the emotion.
Talk to Someone You Trust: Get an external perspective.
Give It Time: Wait to see if the emotion is permanent.
So:
Genuine emotions are multidimensional and consistent. Factors such as physiological responses, behavioral adaptation, and the test of time play a critical role in assessing the authenticity of an emotion. However, remember that emotions are dynamic and can sometimes be shaped by complex motivations. Being honest with yourself and developing inner awareness will be your most reliable guide.